There is a common misconception that long term relationships can only be created if the beginning is slow. I say, “Who cares?”

What is slow? It would be very pretentious and hypocritical of me to even define this for someone. Plenty of relationships have spawned from one night stands, and countless daters have “waited” days, weeks, months with absolutely no result.

Slow paced, fast paced, red light, green light… it’s all relative and dynamic to the two individuals engaging in the relationship. You’re going to have to decide which pace is comfortable to you with that specific person.

Rule of thumb: No sex on the first date.

Long term relationships can’t be predicted. With the right amount of chemistry, they just sort of happen. Fast, slow… when you find a person who can stand your neurosis for extended periods of time and you like them back… well, maybe you’ve gotten yourself into a long term relationship thing.

First dates are like interviews. The respect that you’d give a future employer at an interview should measure up to the respect a potential boyfriend would deserve on a first date: show up on time, dress the part, and be considerate.

Below are the five signs that you’re a bad first dater:

1. You showed up late and failed to give notice. This is 2010, not 1994. You see that shiny thing in your hand? It’s a mobile phone. Now that you’ve had a formal introduction, use it. Just send a courtesy text if you think you’re running late.
2. You talked about a sexual experience within the first 5 minutes. This is unnecessary, unless of course, you met over Craigslist’s Casual Encounters. First dates are about building sexual tension. That foundation is going to need to be laid out over at least two glasses of wine.
3. You’ve failed to dress appropriately. Unless you are auditioning to be an extra on the Jersey Shore, that slutty boob top and those frayed jeans are better off for your next Lady Gaga concert. I mean, sure, you could dress like a skank, but remember, skanks don’t get asked out on second dates.
4. You ate off his plate, Did he offer? Did you ask politely? Horrible dining etiquette is a deal breaker for most. This is a first date anyway. Stop being weird. Eat your own damn food.
5. You didn’t do “the gesture”. Chances are, if he has any sense, he’ll probably pay for the first date. Stop being ungrateful and at least offer. If he declines your gesture, which he probably will, offer to get the next round of drinks. The recession isn’t over. Stop being rude.

As originally posted on YourTango.

We’ve all experienced messy break ups. The past is where you should wipe away the residue of your broken heart if you ever want to start a new relationship. Unless your new interest loves to wallow in negativity (and they probably don’t, we hope!), talking about your ex on a first date is a major DON’T.

Not only will your new interest “check-out” of the conversation, it’s a guaranteed way of destroying your chances of a second date. Talking negatively about your ex gives the impression that you are:

1. Probably not over them and/or bitter/spiteful. The opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference. Hatred and bitterness of your ex will be interpreted that you still have feelings.
2. Capable of talking just as discriminatory of the next person you date, who could very well be the person who’s ear you are chewing off at that moment.

If you can’t help but talk about your ex on a first date, perhaps now is not the time to start a relationship with someone new. Nurture the relationship you have with yourself first. If you’re still wallowing in the past, chances are you’re blind to notice the site of a potential future.

Only when you can confidently answer that your last relationship was a “learning experience”, instead of “the person who stole my soul for 8 months”, will you be able to take on a new love interest.