First dates are like interviews. The respect that you’d give a future employer at an interview should measure up to the respect a potential boyfriend would deserve on a first date: show up on time, dress the part, and be considerate.

Below are the five signs that you’re a bad first dater:

1. You showed up late and failed to give notice. This is 2010, not 1994. You see that shiny thing in your hand? It’s a mobile phone. Now that you’ve had a formal introduction, use it. Just send a courtesy text if you think you’re running late.
2. You talked about a sexual experience within the first 5 minutes. This is unnecessary, unless of course, you met over Craigslist’s Casual Encounters. First dates are about building sexual tension. That foundation is going to need to be laid out over at least two glasses of wine.
3. You’ve failed to dress appropriately. Unless you are auditioning to be an extra on the Jersey Shore, that slutty boob top and those frayed jeans are better off for your next Lady Gaga concert. I mean, sure, you could dress like a skank, but remember, skanks don’t get asked out on second dates.
4. You ate off his plate, Did he offer? Did you ask politely? Horrible dining etiquette is a deal breaker for most. This is a first date anyway. Stop being weird. Eat your own damn food.
5. You didn’t do “the gesture”. Chances are, if he has any sense, he’ll probably pay for the first date. Stop being ungrateful and at least offer. If he declines your gesture, which he probably will, offer to get the next round of drinks. The recession isn’t over. Stop being rude.

As originally posted on YourTango.

Women are very hard to impress. It’s not that we don’t care, but we’ve been subject to such inconsideration, that at this point- we’ve become cynical that the male race will ever be genuine. If you want a woman to swoon over you, you’re going to need to act cool, witty, and up your testosterone levels.

The five simple ways to get her to be completely smitten by you:

1. Learn how to play the guitar. An actual guitar, not Hero. Learn a cord or two. Pretend. Just buy it and decorate a visible corner of your living room. Guitar screams creativity, mystery, and romance. Women have a twisted perception, fueled by romantic comedies, that one day you will turn into Casanova and serenade us with a love song. She’ll want to be your muse.

2. Dress with style, but still be straight. A nice blazer with a salmon colored shirt and dark jeans is stylish. Rhinestones all over your purposefully torn jeans hits the probability factor that you may be wearing the same jeans as her. (This should not be confused with, Dress with style, but don’t be Jersey Shore, where ones attire would look like Ed Hardy threw up all over them.)

3. Be “The Man”. Open doors, pay for the first date, make sure she gets home safely. (Read: pay for her cab home/ drive her home/ walk her home. Do NOT walk her to the closest subway station.) Women TALK. If you want her to swoon for you, make sure her friends swoon for you too.

4. Have a sense of humor! It’s no secret that women have this personality trait on the top of their list when looking for a man. It’s not about making her laugh, as much as it is about laughing at yourself. Women equate a sense of humor with confidence and security. For best reference, you want to be a mix of Ferries Beuller and the character that Jon Cusack plays in Serendipity. Don’t take life to seriously, and tell her you leave it all to fate. Girls love that!

5. Stop being a douchebag. Most of us are incapable of detecting if you’re going to be flakey when we first meet you, but waiting 6 days before you call us back? No one is that busy. Be considerate of us, and we’ll just fall in love with you.

Article as posted in Examiner.com. Written by Maria Avgitidis. Photo by Jill Hanner.

He looks amazing in suspenders and a helmet, and he probably has an authentic NY accent. He carries a big hose. He rides in a shiny red truck, whose obnoxious loud siren screams “emergency!”, all the while making you nervous, anxious…and strangely titillated.

NYC firemen are hot, sexy, and easy to spot in uniform. But are they approachable? How do you effectively snag one? Below are the best practices on flirting with the FDNY:

1. DO NOT mention 9/11. Bringing it up to a fireman is both a cliché and also a major emotional downer at this point.
2. DO play the eye-sex game with the fireman who just caught your glance as the truck passes you by. This will give them even more adrenaline as they head off to danger. Remind them the best reason to stay strong: NYC women.
3. DO say hello as you pass the firehouse. If the garage door is open, and the firemen are around, greet them with a smile. They won’t bite.
4. DO NOT ask if they save kittens in trees. It’s been overplayed, ladies.
5. DO understand that some firemen probably have yet to see a fire. I’m just saying…
6. DO NOT try to come in between him and his brotherhood. You will not win.
7. DO expect a real New Yorker. Most of the FDNY is NY born and bred. Reminding him that he’s a real New Yorker will stroke his big, NY… ego.
8. DO let him know if you have knowledge of the FDNY, but DON’T let him know you know everything. Give him the opportunity to talk about his job.
9. DON’T sleep with him on the first date if you actually want to date him. FDNY boys assume if you sleep with them on the first date, you just wanted to fulfill a “hero fantasy”.
10. DO find him at the following favorite FDNY after-work watering holes:

• O’Haras Restaurant and Pub is located just behind the “10 House” at Battery Park City.
• Double Down Saloon in the East Village.
• Third and Long at Kips Bay.
• Tin Lizzy in the Upper East Side.
• ANY BAR in Manhattan after the St. Patrick’s Day parade.

No luck with any of the above? Just start a fire. You’ll definitely get his attention then!

Photo by Kenneth Lu.