There is a common misconception that long term relationships can only be created if the beginning is slow. I say, “Who cares?”

What is slow? It would be very pretentious and hypocritical of me to even define this for someone. Plenty of relationships have spawned from one night stands, and countless daters have “waited” days, weeks, months with absolutely no result.

Slow paced, fast paced, red light, green light… it’s all relative and dynamic to the two individuals engaging in the relationship. You’re going to have to decide which pace is comfortable to you with that specific person.

Rule of thumb: No sex on the first date.

Long term relationships can’t be predicted. With the right amount of chemistry, they just sort of happen. Fast, slow… when you find a person who can stand your neurosis for extended periods of time and you like them back… well, maybe you’ve gotten yourself into a long term relationship thing.

Women are very hard to impress. It’s not that we don’t care, but we’ve been subject to such inconsideration, that at this point- we’ve become cynical that the male race will ever be genuine. If you want a woman to swoon over you, you’re going to need to act cool, witty, and up your testosterone levels.

The five simple ways to get her to be completely smitten by you:

1. Learn how to play the guitar. An actual guitar, not Hero. Learn a cord or two. Pretend. Just buy it and decorate a visible corner of your living room. Guitar screams creativity, mystery, and romance. Women have a twisted perception, fueled by romantic comedies, that one day you will turn into Casanova and serenade us with a love song. She’ll want to be your muse.

2. Dress with style, but still be straight. A nice blazer with a salmon colored shirt and dark jeans is stylish. Rhinestones all over your purposefully torn jeans hits the probability factor that you may be wearing the same jeans as her. (This should not be confused with, Dress with style, but don’t be Jersey Shore, where ones attire would look like Ed Hardy threw up all over them.)

3. Be “The Man”. Open doors, pay for the first date, make sure she gets home safely. (Read: pay for her cab home/ drive her home/ walk her home. Do NOT walk her to the closest subway station.) Women TALK. If you want her to swoon for you, make sure her friends swoon for you too.

4. Have a sense of humor! It’s no secret that women have this personality trait on the top of their list when looking for a man. It’s not about making her laugh, as much as it is about laughing at yourself. Women equate a sense of humor with confidence and security. For best reference, you want to be a mix of Ferries Beuller and the character that Jon Cusack plays in Serendipity. Don’t take life to seriously, and tell her you leave it all to fate. Girls love that!

5. Stop being a douchebag. Most of us are incapable of detecting if you’re going to be flakey when we first meet you, but waiting 6 days before you call us back? No one is that busy. Be considerate of us, and we’ll just fall in love with you.

Article as posted in Examiner.com. Written by Maria Avgitidis. Photo by Jill Hanner.

He looks amazing in suspenders and a helmet, and he probably has an authentic NY accent. He carries a big hose. He rides in a shiny red truck, whose obnoxious loud siren screams “emergency!”, all the while making you nervous, anxious…and strangely titillated.

NYC firemen are hot, sexy, and easy to spot in uniform. But are they approachable? How do you effectively snag one? Below are the best practices on flirting with the FDNY:

1. DO NOT mention 9/11. Bringing it up to a fireman is both a cliché and also a major emotional downer at this point.
2. DO play the eye-sex game with the fireman who just caught your glance as the truck passes you by. This will give them even more adrenaline as they head off to danger. Remind them the best reason to stay strong: NYC women.
3. DO say hello as you pass the firehouse. If the garage door is open, and the firemen are around, greet them with a smile. They won’t bite.
4. DO NOT ask if they save kittens in trees. It’s been overplayed, ladies.
5. DO understand that some firemen probably have yet to see a fire. I’m just saying…
6. DO NOT try to come in between him and his brotherhood. You will not win.
7. DO expect a real New Yorker. Most of the FDNY is NY born and bred. Reminding him that he’s a real New Yorker will stroke his big, NY… ego.
8. DO let him know if you have knowledge of the FDNY, but DON’T let him know you know everything. Give him the opportunity to talk about his job.
9. DON’T sleep with him on the first date if you actually want to date him. FDNY boys assume if you sleep with them on the first date, you just wanted to fulfill a “hero fantasy”.
10. DO find him at the following favorite FDNY after-work watering holes:

• O’Haras Restaurant and Pub is located just behind the “10 House” at Battery Park City.
• Double Down Saloon in the East Village.
• Third and Long at Kips Bay.
• Tin Lizzy in the Upper East Side.
• ANY BAR in Manhattan after the St. Patrick’s Day parade.

No luck with any of the above? Just start a fire. You’ll definitely get his attention then!

Photo by Kenneth Lu.

Throw nearly two million people onto an island 2 miles wide by 13 miles long — 64.4% of them single! — mix in the hustle & bustle of teeming streets, bars, and cramped living quarters, as well as New Yorker’s typical nervy bluntness, and you’ve created the optimal conditions for flirting, dating and sex.
Single or married, on an island like Manhattan, with strangers constantly invading your personal space and anonymity a reality of everyday life amid fast-paced interactions, opportunities to flirt are just too easy to pass up.

And too much fun. The urban landscape is perfectly conducive to the thrill of a quick bat of the eyelashes, alluring look, or playful comment. Busy sidewalks, crowded streets, outsize egos, narrow bars – only in New York City are you served flirtation on a heart-shaped platter. Eyes dart around, capture the glance, linger just a moment longer, and as quick as the interest has sparked, so it passes. Everyone has some place to go. New Yorkers can be as social as they want, but equally anonymous.

The opportunities here are endless: Holding the gaze of someone on the 6 Train, backing into someone at Banc Café, scoffing together at Shake Shack’s endless line, or sharing a smirk at La Pomme as you pass by the stripper poles.

New York City oozes sex appeal. It begs for you to flirt, since its very design and infrastructure encourages close interaction. It’s up to you to capture the moment and take a bite of the Big Apple.

Article as posted in Examiner.com. Written by Maria Avgitidis.